Me and Self Help Books.

I'm not coming from well educated family. My father dan my mom not even finished their elementary school.

I never blame them for how my mental health condition right now. The thing that i know since teenage is i'm stiff and full of shyness.

Until some how i studied at guidance counseling and found that my problem coming from my past and i need to fix it if i want my adultness's Ok.

At that moment, i don't know where to go. I have no courage to talk to someone. I was to shy to discuss it and tell my secret.

I knew the way i speak was too fucked up. I was stutter and sweat a lot if i have to spoke with strangers or in public. Until one day, a lecturer told me, "if you want to able speak fluently, read novels". And that's what i did.

Every 2 weeks, i went to public library and borrowed a novel. I finished one book every 2 week and visited the library to get another one.

Day by day, the way i speak developed. I'm not stutter anymore. I felt more confident speak at public.

But i still felt there was something wrong on me. I complained a lot and easy to get angry. I restless all the time.

One day, when i explored library, i came in to different room, "Dewasa 1". In that room i found different books, self development books. I remembered one day i borrowed a book with the title "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens". And just stunned with the content.

Many ideas in that book hit my idealism so hard. And the book became a life changing book for me.

After that i have 2 favorite genre. Self help or self development and novel, especially fantasy novels.

Until now, i have read dozens (maybe hundreds) of self help book and novel. And still do.

Do i became perfect and happiest person in the world after i read that much book?

Unfortunately, No.

Being happy is process, not goals. Book is like a compass for me. When i feel empty, i reread my old book. And fix it.

But you know? After so many effort and development in my personal life, i think i need do one more thing to make this effort complete. At least once in my life. Speak to professional.

I will and i still have to read books. But speak to psychologist or counselor is something that always cross my mind.

As individuals, i have done all i need. As social human, of course i need to speak with someone!

One day, i will do it!